Do not take these newspaper ads literally

Clippings This list of goofy newspaper clippings, which includes some ads, has a couple of real winners in it. Gentle Eye Remover sounds peachy to me when my contacts go swimming in my eyes, to say nothing of how a visit to Granny Joe’s Ice Creamatorium would lift my spirits. But this one is probably the best, on account of subtlety. Notice anything unusual? Shouldn’t that be nuisances? Also, he hates babies.

—Posted by David Kiefaber