Judging from his Twitter numbers and the continued media frenzy surrounding his every move, Charlie Sheen is now the most important person on the face of the Earth. Kate Middleton must be fuming! In just 48 hours, Chuck pulled in more than 400,000 clicks for his Ad.ly tweet sponsorship of Internships.com, and by late yesterday, the firm received almost 75,000 applications from folks angling for an eight-week internship with the troubled TV star. Sheen’s ad begins: “Do you have #TigerBlood? Are you all about #Winning? Can you #PlanBetter than anyone else? If so, we want you on #TeamSheen as our social media #TigerBloodIntern!” Holy hashtags, is this rummy down with the social or what? Sheen claims to have “TigerBlood” in his veins that protects him from evil. I wouldn’t be surprised by anything found racing through his system. As Charlie’s intern, “You will learn how to promote and develop the social media network of Hollywood’s most trending celebrity.” Translation: You’ll be scoring drugs for da man. The application deadline is Friday, with résumés due Monday. Emilio Estevez should apply—the buzz could make my dream of a Mighty Ducks 4 a reality. Of course, that fucking Chrysler twit also needs work.