HP makes amends for spying on reporters

Dear journalists:
  We at Hewlett-Packard regret spying on you, and are delighted to have reached a settlement. We’ve routed the agreed-upon sums of money directly into your bank accounts. As a courtesy, we’ve also paid your utility and Internet bills from those accounts. (One of you was three months behind with Comcast!) As an added gesture, we have renewed your driver’s licenses and remotely reformatted the hard drives of your PCs and iPhones to improve performance.