‘Red Alert’ adds some cleavage to a classic

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After 12 years, the opening to Command & Conquer: Red Alert still holds up as one of the best video game intros of all time. A lot of that has to do with “Hell March,” the creepy war track that starts up after Einstein kills Hitler (you gotta love video games). Now the song is back as the soundtrack to “Red Alert 3 Remix”, a promotional video featured on AdGabber for the game series’ newest installment. Electronic Arts has obviously done well with the series, since they can now afford to include a legion of B-list celebrities like Jenna McCarthy, George Takei, Jonathan Pryce and the indelibly awesome Peter Stormare. I can’t quite imagine gamers sitting down and listening to this song more than once, but the promo has already done its job just by including the ultimate gamer hat trick: an old-school track, seductive women in uniform and that one-eyed Russian guy from Lost.

—Posted by David Griner