When you're a custodian by day and a sex machine by night, you don't want to bother with two different outfits. Luckily, there’s The Big Zip, a jumpsuit that’s 50 percent polyester, 50 percent cotton and 100 percent lust tarp. See the full ad below. Dear Jane Sample dug up this gem, although even she’s not sure if it’s for real. Either way, the lascivious copy—“Easy on, easy off, quick as a flick of her tongue”—is priceless when paired with a model who looks like a Doobie Brothers-era Michael McDonald. It’s sad this didn’t catch on, despite the best intentions of Sam Weir and Dr. Thaddeus Venture.