‘Two and a Half Men’ Gears Up for a Sheen-Free Season

He'll meet his end in a 'meat explosion'

Breathe easy, America: Two and a Half Men has just finished filming its first episode with Charlie Sheen replacement Ashton Kutcher, and according to an on-set source, it went "really well."

“Although it was a little bit rocky during rehearsal to film without Charlie, they welcomed Ashton,” the source told People. (Wait. Filming without Sheen was rocky?)

Kutcher’s net worth is also doing “really well” thanks to his new role. His salary of $700,000 per episode makes him TV’s highest-paid sitcom actor, according to TV Guide. It might be considerably less than Sheen’s mind-boggling $1.2 million paycheck, but hey, it’ll buy dinner (or fund an elaborate Punk'd episode).

And yet. There’s unavoidable tragedy darkening the corners of this otherwise happy denouement. Sheen’s character, “jingle writer” Charlie Harper, isn’t quietly departing the show. Instead, he will be killed in a brutal accident when he “slips” in a Paris subway, is hit by a train, and is blown apart in a high-protein “meat explosion,” as cryptically described by TMZ.

But wait, there’s more. TMZ suggests that foul play could be at hand, saying that Harper may have been pushed to his death by Rose, the “neighbor/stalker” that he married (because those types of things typically do work out well).

So what does Sheen think about all this? The actor told Extra that he’s “rooting hard” for the show’s success. “Who's not going to watch? I'll be there front and center. I'm just as curious as everybody else,” he said, adding that Kutcher is going to “kill it” as his replacement.

As for his gruesome TV death, “I am honored that it took something as large and violent as an oncoming train to terminate my character,” Sheen told TMZ. “Anything less would have been an insult!”