More Lance Armstrong Fail: He Offered Rival $100,000 to Throw Race

Calamitous falls from grace in sports are unfortunately commonplace. There was Pete Rose's gambling and A-Rod incessant whining, Tiger's addictive philandering and Michael Vick's dog killing, Aaron Hernandez murdering and Kobe Bryant's alleged pillaging. It happens every year, as it seems. These darlings of the media are given spotlight, fame and a truck load of cash for playing a game. So, of course, they start jonesin' for more and think they are incapable of being caught doing no wrong. Such is life for these insipid athletes who need to spruce up their image by taking advantage of others. And then there is the dingleberry in the roto-rooter of humanity, Lance effin' Armstrong. (Technically, I think that is his legal middle name.) And wait until you hear this... According to this story in the New York Post (by way of Jezebel, which is where I trolled), Lance "Just Inject It" Armstrong reportedly offered one of his top rivals in 1993, Italian cyclist Roberto Gaggioli, one-hundred-large to throw a race. And the hits keep on comin'. He offered me a panettone [cake] as a present and wished me a Merry Christmas. In the box there were $100,000 in small bills," Gaggioli told the Italian paper Corriere della Sera. "Lance said that my team, Coors Light, had agreed to it. I understood that it had all been decided," he said. Lance, ever the bargain shopper, got off easy. You see, this was a $1 million race. I don't know at whom I should be more pissed—Armstrong for being his famously douchey self or this Italian fool for not squeezing the one-balled-wonder for more cash. So Gaggioli eased off pedaling as the two zoomed toward the finish line at the final event of the Million Dollar Race, he said. “Two laps from the end, I was in a breakaway with Lance, Bobby Julich and some Italian riders from the Mercatone team,” Gaggioli recalled. “When Lance made a sign, I turned away as if not to see that he had escaped. He broke away to win on his own,” he said. Lance was 22 at the time. No major endorsements. No jilted marriages. No reason to "Live Strong." No fame. That's what took so long for this to come to light. But now? It's dogpile on the Class-A dope. Just more of why Lance Armstrong is the worst thing to happen to the U.S. Postal Service since the Internet. So, if you adore Lance as much as I do, you will love this clip of Keith Olbermann demolishing him for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

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More Lance Armstrong Fail: He Offered Rival $100,000 to Throw Race

Shawn Paul Wood

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Shawn Paul Wood