Amazon Gets All Nostradamus-Like With Its ‘Anticipatory’ Shipping

amazon anticipation

When tells you it’ll be there before you know it, they ain’t screwing around!

Amazon’s latest move in the customer service one-upsmanship game comes right out of a George Orwell novel. According to Digital Trends, the company recently patented a new system called “anticipatory package shipping.” [Cue Close Encounters of the Third Kind music here.]

What does it mean? As Steve Jobs once said, “People don’t know what they want until you show it to them”—and Amazon knows exactly what you want. I know, right?!

Of course, Amazon’s patent doesn’t divulge how the company intends to freak the hell out of its online consumers, only that it plans to do so successfully.

We’ll tell you more after the jump, because we know what you want, too…

Amazon will collectively compile data such as product searches, page visits, wish list items, order history, overall time on page, items left in the shopping cart and return history to pre-ship items to closer warehouse locations or even directly to the eventual recipient. Amazon even plans to measure the length of time that a user’s mouse cursor hovers over an item in order to predict an upcoming purchase.

Granted, to scare everyone via ‘War of the Worlds,’ Amazon is going to become BFFs with carriers like USPS, FedEx and UPS. The larger the city, the more regional hubs. The more hubs, the faster they can “predict” your shopping habits.

Of course, there are going to be lazy-good-for-nothins’ that will crack the soothsaying code and get goods without really paying for it, but that’s the risk you take when you want to read folks’ minds. I guess. Surely, a #PRFail is coming out of this, and if so, your humble servants at PRNewser will be on top of that like Amazon on a woman from Hoarders.