Do you post things to Facebook and Twitter late at night, when you're hammered, only to regret it the next day? Webroot, the unboring anti-virus software, is here to help. Working with TDA Advertising & Design, the company has created the Social Media Sobriety Test, an app that's intended to save you from yourself before yet another drunken post further alienates you from the few friends you have left in life. You can customize which sites to block and the times of day when you are most likely to be intoxicated. To access the sites during those times, you must pass a randomly selected mental-agility test like dragging a cursor in a straight line or typing the alphabet backward. I couldn't do the latter, and I'd struggle mightily with the former, even while sober. Besides, what fun is posting stuff online without being smashed? I'll conclude this post by taking another sip and simply pointing out that you've got butt-ugly kids, you're so damn hot, you can take this job and shove it, and I slept with your mom.