I’m sure whoever thought of having Urkel rap about teen abstinence wanted to cash in on his then-unquestionable fame. Still, I can’t imagine it was a terribly effective vehicle for that message. For one thing, he flows like a clogged toilet—a natural rapper Jaleel White was not. But the bigger issue is that the Urkel character’s sexless adolescence wasn’t the result of self-control or moral strength as much as social awkwardness and highwater pants. Why would kids have taken sex advice from someone who, as far as they knew, couldn’t get laid anyway?
—Posted by David Kiefaber