If you hate the cats in the new Quiznos ads, check out this video from Taxi in New York for Clearwire's Rover, a pay-as-you-go 4G mobile Internet service. We're presented with an animated tabby newscaster. As a card-carrying cat hater (yes, we have cards), I was just starting to despise the clip when the cat gets its eye shot out—and ultimately expires in a bloody mess atop the anchor desk. Now that's the way to advertise an Internet access plan! The theme is, "Everything is changing." Which is true—suddenly, cats are the ones being persecuted! See two more newscat spots after the jump (he pukes in one, explodes in another!), along with an equally wacky spot showing a woman painfully giving birth … to a baby with a big yellow emoticon head! It's an improvement over the typical newborn. They're usually such icky, wrinkled things.