Let’s pass on the mass-panic campaign

Xfiles_2
From: X-Files producers
To: All staff
RE: "Panic in Pittsburgh" campaign canceled
  We regret to inform you that we’ve canceled this week’s planned "Panic in Pittsburgh" public stunt campaign to promote the release of The X-Files: I Want to Believe. A bogus invasion of Pittsburgh, achieved via media reports, Hollywood sets, actors and special effects, was a great idea, particularly since the movie’s title isn’t doing us any favors. Sure, we borrowed the concept from Orson Welles’ 1938 War of the Worlds radio broadcast, but we lifted the whole X-Files idea from The Night Stalker, and no one seemed to care. Anyway, it would’ve been so cool to cause widespread fear of aliens rampaging through the streets of Pittsburgh, destroying local landmarks and animating corpses in their quest for conquest. Imagine the buzz for the premiere! Unfortunately, our lawyers say it could backfire like those stunts for Aqua Teen Hunger Force and The Dark Knight. We’ve moved on to plan B, which is to leak sexy pictures of Gillian Anderson to the Internet. She’s still hot. But we’ve told David Duchovny to keep his clothes on, no matter what. The truth may still be out there, but it hasn’t aged that well.

—Posted by David Gianatasio