Ladies, Hanes Wants to Know the Color of Your Panties

And they double dog dare you to tell Twitter

Hanes is asking women to overshare on social media by telling the world the color of their undies. They're pretending that revealing your panty color is some sort of slightly salacious act, and they're willing to offer you free undies if you do it, though it's pretty clear that the whole thing is cleverly disguised market research into preferred panty colors. So, what have they learned over at UndercoverColor.com? Most people talk about their undies at lunch! Five percent of the people telling Hanes the color of their panties are dudes! Pink is currently the most popular color, with 23 percent of all responders selecting it! I was one of those pink wearers. However, the interaction with the brand was somewhat less than satisfying. I told them I was wearing pink. I got to choose between a number of hideous Pinterest-style images with pre-composed tweets. These included flirtatious tweets like, "A good girl might not share her underwear color, but who says I'm a good girl?"; incomprehensible tweets like, "Act like a lady. Underwear like a boss"; and what-the-what tweets like, "It's kind of like a French manicure for my bum!" At which point, you're done! End of website! You never see Hanes underwear anywhere. Which is quite undercover.