Sports Illustrated cover girl and suddenly ubiquitous ad star Kate Upton has a new commercial, this time for DirecTV. And like the spots that have come before it, this one focuses squarely on her assets. She's stacked, y'all, and showing a lot of skin. (By this point, she's so overplayed that I can't even muster an exclamation point on that last sentence.) The DirecTV sales pitch consists entirely of Upton's awkward come-hither looks, a couple words of "dialogue" and a bright blue bikini. (DirecTV and Grey developed a related "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Viewer 2012" app—hold an iPad or mobile phone over select photos in the swimsuit issue, and you got to see the scantily clad supermodels come to life.) Pop culture blog Jezebel has already filed the ad under "the stupidest thing we have ever seen," maybe because it brings to mind those cheesy old late-night ads for 1-900 phone sex. Upton's too young to remember those, of course. Maybe that's why she's not wise enough to turn down another piece of crap work?