If he could talk, old one-eared Bowzer would surely tell how he used to walk barefoot for miles, sleep on a moth-eaten blanket and drink from muddy puddles in the street—and he was just fine, thank you, especially with random belly rubs, leftover marrow bones or (oh, happy day!) unlimited toilet-bowl access. Apparently, a dog’s life isn’t what it used to be: Today’s urban pooch wouldn’t be caught playing dead without flavored-and-bottled K9 Water. Available in beef, lamb, chicken and liver varieties, the à la mode agua comes in 16.9-ounce sport bottles at $2 a pop—perfect for packing in one’s velvet-padded doggie bag. Best of all, should a nearby human develop a sudden craving for liquid veal, K9 Water is made with people-quality ingredients. Maybe it’s a good thing Bowzer can’t talk after all.
—Posted by Randi Schmelzer