Can we please get a new metaphor, people?

These two ads, nearly identical in concept, for Morgan Stanley Smith Barney and Franklin Templeton Investments, both appeared in Time's June 22 issue. Apparently, finding a good metaphor in these trying times is as hard as finding a needle in a haystack, because that's what they both came up with. An unfortunate coincidence, made more unfortunate by the fact that those are the only two investment-company ads to appear in Time this week. I figured the generous readers at AdFreak could give the financial industry a little bailout of our own by sending them a better metaphor.