Trump would date his daughter!
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Trump says he could shoot a man and still win!
We're sick of seeing Trump in our Facebook feeds.
Thankfully, we aren't alone: Louis Wittig, a copywriter at Grey, is in fact so sick of it that he's decided to launch his own attack campaign in the hope of turning a few Republicans around in one of the places where it counts: New Hampshire.
Wittig is raising money on Go Fund Me to run an anti-Trump ad in The Concord Monitor—which has a circulation of about 22,000—two days before the New Hampshire primary.
The strategy is also worth some props. Instead of calling Trump names or drawing attention to stupid things he says, Wittig is going for the jugular. "The people who might vote for Trump already know about his irreponsible statements, and that's kind of why they like him: He says things no one else will say, so he must not be a regular, wishy-washy Republican. So, calling him a bigot only plays to his strength as an outsider," Wittig says.
"But what will get a conservative voter to think twice is the fact that Trump is aaaanything but conservative: He really likes Democrats, Hillary Clinton and government handouts. So, the ads go after that."
Check the delightfully catty creative out below, along with our interview with Wittig. And if you've got five bucks hanging around that Starbucks hasn't siphoned up yet, now you have somewhere to put it—on the Go Fund Me page. (But also check out Wittig's website, People With Five Bucks Against Trump, for the hilarity and passive pinch of jealousy. Because while he was building that, what did you do today?)
AdFreak: How many times a day do you see Trump in your newsfeed?
Louis Wittig: It's been getting worse every day. It was about one or two a day a few weeks ago, but now it's like five or six. I've been trying to avoid Facebook as a result. But it seems like the harder I try to ignore Donald Trump, the more I see him.
What Trump story was the last straw?
It was the quote a couple days ago, I think, where he said something like, "I could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and I still wouldn't lose supporters." And what bothered me about that is that he was kinda right. Nothing seems to puncture this ever growing, ego-driven inflation of the Trump bubble. I was starting to lose sleep. So I had to do something, however ridiculous.
Which inanimate object or small animal would make a better president? Please defend your choice.
Oh wow. So many to choose from. I think a breath mint would definitely make a better president than Donald Trump. I've met five or six breath mints that have more coherent economic plans than Donald Trump.
What makes Trump so scary to you?
What's most annoying to me about Trump—I'm not so much scared of him as annoyed—is that he is so transparently manipulative. Everyone knows that he's going to say some completely insane thing to get attention. Everyone knows that's exactly what he's going to do. It's exactly what he's always done. Donald Trump saying ridiculous things is like the sun coming up in the east. And yet, every time, when he does it, we all act like he's done something that he's never done before.
Please explain your attack strategy, and what other angles you plan to tackle.
My strategy, such as it is, is just to tell people what Donald Trump has said and done in the past. The craziest thing about Trump running for the Republican nomination is that he's anything, anything but conservative. The man is the epitome of bad advertising: He'll say anything to get your attention, and assumes that his audience is stupid. I think most people know this. And I think if we remind them that The Donald stands for nothing, they'll listen.
Why would Republicans or conservatives listen?
People who might vote for Donald Trump aren't stupid. Like all voters, in all parties, they want to vote for someone who sees the world like they do, and who they trust. Donald Trump is neither. I think deep down, potential Trump voters know this. I just want to remind them.
If he wins, and becomes the 45th president of the United States, what's your next move?
Probably set a Guinness record for the world's longest continuous sigh.
Anything I missed? Now's your time to shine.
Ah, my time to shine. Usually I mess those up. Uhhh … I've seen thousands and thousands of posts and tweets and stories, on every social platform, about how awful Donald Trump is. And the angst is real. My thought was, if we all just put our money where our tweets are, we may not trip up Trump, but we'd at least feel better about the world for having done something.
Top photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images