I'd probably be called a pervert if I went around asking women, children and animals, "How far would you go for a Tootie Pie?" But throw it up on a site named HowFarForATootiePie.com, and it’s called “viral marketing.” Not to be confused with Pootie Tang — the man who whups ass so fast, you can write it off on your taxes — Tootie Pie Company is a Texas bakery specializing in mail-order pies. The company announced yesterday it was taking the Web by storm with its new site, offering to let “everyone get a ‘taste’ of Tootie Pie thanks to a series of videos, both scripted and submitted by fans.” So far, the pickins are slim, although there’s a lot of gold to be found in the five-minute clip of women doing shots and proclaiming their vaguely Sapphic love of hand-made pies with lines like, “Tootie Pie, I’ve waited all night to have a piece of you,” and, “Who needs a husband? I want some Tootie Pie.” Oh man, I don’t care if their logo features Kim Jong Il, I am ordering me some Tootie Pie.

—Posted by David Griner