Scott is asking for your ‘cloggiest moment’

The good people who make Scott bathroom tissue may live to regret this “Cloggiest Moments” contest they’ve started. (“Get ready to flush your worries away,” they advise on the Web site.) As an example of the kinds of submissions they should expect, here’s a true story: I was once visiting UVA with my dad, who had spiked my breakfast with non-lactose reduced milk. That mistake—and the general anxieties one feels while determining the course of one’s life—had me, to quote Ozzy Osbourne, “on and off that can like a fiddler’s elbow.”