As I've noted before in this space, I am not a "pet" person. I don't like sharing my water dish or catnip, and I can think of better uses for a collar and leash than "walkies," though they're prohibited in most states, except maybe Idaho, where pretty much anything goes. That brings us to Webvet.com, which has launched a "Birds on Broadway" competition. The press release squawks about "an online search for the country's most talented parrots, canaries and other winged animals." Broadway? I suppose it's OK if they're reviving Bye Bye Birdie, but I'd think twice before letting any feathered friend of mine join the touring company of Cats. (Actually, the prize is $2,500.) For more silly bird-related humor, here's Monty Python's timeless "Dead Parrot" sketch. And yes, I'll be shouting "pining for the fjords" in a loud, obnoxious Cockney accent for the rest of the day. My co-workers can lump it.

—Posted by David Gianatasio