With only a few days left, Charles Montgomery Burns has declared his presidential endorsement for none other than Mitt Romney. Sitting next to a few binders full of women, the fictional plutocrat of The Simpsons universe assures his gay assistant Smithers (who is probably voting for Obama) that the only thing that stands between the Republicans and their God-given right to rule is a shaggy-dog story—the incident from 1983 when Romney left his Irish setter Seamus on top of the family car for a 12-hour, 650-mile trip. Mr. Burns takes it upon himself to debunk the myth and calls out "Seamus" to tell America that he actually enjoyed taking that ride because it let him "see more of this great land of ours and its wonderful natural resources … ripe for drilling and mining and exploiting." Mr. Burns then asks the dog to choose between two men impersonating "Broccoli Obama" and "Meat Romney." But the dog, like much of America, is disgusted by both options and jumps out the window instead. You can catch the longest-running scripted show in television history Sundays at 8/7c on Fox.