The Freak takes cracks at creative often enough. Why should media planners get a pass? The commercials airing during a recent TNT late-show broadcast of George Armitage’s 1997 movie Grosse Pointe Blank—an edgy, violent comedy about an assassin returning to his 10-year high school reunion while fulfilling a final contract hit—imply that the film is a perfect fit for the geriatric generation. (The sweet spot is more likely the Class of ’86—that would be 1986—plus or minus a decade.) Among the products advertised: the “Rascal” scooter (a vehicle made not for the hip set but for the hip-replacement set); a remedy for P.A.D. (that’s peripheral artery disease, for those readers who won’t have to worry about it for another 30 years); and the Table Mate multi-position tray, perfect for the house-bound. Maybe Grandma does think Jon Cusack is so cute that she’ll enjoy watching him shoot people to the sounds of the Violent Femmes, the Clash and Guns N’ Roses. Then again, maybe the metrix software needs some tweaking, perhaps with a Craftmatic adjustable bed or arthritis medicine.

—Posted by Gregory Solman