KFC is revamping its image. Sort of. The popular restaurant “unveiled a new brand logo Tuesday that includes bolder colors and a more well-defined visage of ... Colonel Harland Sanders, who will keep his classic black bow tie, glasses and goatee.” (Yes, this is the same logo that KFC was considering over the summer and that is now visible from space.) KFC’s Gregg Dedrick says the change “gives us a chance ... to make sure we stay relevant.” And as we all know, it’s important to keep one’s antebellum Southern gentleman hip with the times. He’d better have a backwards hat by 2010, or I take my business to Popeye’s. Along with the decades-overdue image shift, KFC is also bringing back the full “Kentucky Fried Chicken” name, perhaps conceding that Americans keep getting fatter no matter what cosmetic changes you make. Go ahead and call me underwhelmed by all the publicity. KFC really isn’t changing as much as backpedaling, and the money they’re wasting could be put to better use—namely, offering conclusive evidence that what they’re frying is actually chicken. And while we’re thinking of it, we’ll ask again: Just what are those 11 herbs and spices?

—Posted by David Kiefaber