Henri the Existential Cat Sells His Bleak and Blackened Soul to Friskies Angsty animal now truly screwed

Henri Le Chat Noir was already feeling damned—trapped in an existential hell from which there is no escape. And that was before he was doing Friskies ads. The celebrated feline—winner of the Golden Kitty award at the Internet Cat Video Film Festival, expert on the pointlessness of life as elucidated in videos by Will Braden—just released his first of four Friskies spots. He's been "commissioned by Friskies to explore the phenomenon of cat food boredom." Actually, it's nice that Braden will make a few bucks off this, considering everything he's done for Internet cat watchers. As for Henri, I suppose if there's no point to anything, then there's no point in not selling out. Now that he's hit rock bottom, though, perhaps he can ask for help.

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