This is the freakiest job ad you'll read today


Job hunters, stop your search. We've found the best help-wanted ad in America, with the caveat that it's just a little bit creepy as hell. The job is "Jackson Hole (Wyoming) Personal Assistant." A "divorced, awesome father of two" is hoping to find a yoga-practicing body worker "to assist in managing nearly every aspect of his busy and juicy life." He goes on to explain thusly: "Just some of the hats you'll be wearing are: butler, chauffeur, bookkeeper, dog sitter, gardener, and organic/vegetarian/macro super chef, knowledgeable and safe tour/ski/water/guide, housekeeper, travel agent and baby sitter." He says the job could go to a man or a woman, though he seems to prefer someone "uniquely girly and a bit of a tomboy." For a comprehensive, exhausting and mildly disturbing job description, read the full listing after the jump, keeping in mind the outgoing assistant's ominous warning that "the next person that has this position must be in the 'yes' business." 

Jackson Hole Personal Assistant

I am Looking for the perfect Personal Assistant, House Manager and Handler. It's an amazing job for an amazingly special person. This could be one of the best jobs in the Valley for the right person. Are you uniquely girly and a bit of a tomboy? Do you bring a quiet sparkle to all of your tasks? If you're not afraid of getting your hands dirty, have as many muscles as you do Moxi and you prepare excellent organic super healthy meals filled with love and light then this could be the right position for you to sink your heart into.

These are only a few of the cool things about you

  • Infectious Smile
  • Drama-free
  • Easy Going and personable
  • Trustworthy
  • Dependable
  • Loyal
  • Funny with a Great sense of humor
  • Patient
  • Open-minded
  • Self-motivated
  • Dedicated
  • Flexible - able to Roll with Shifting Sands and Stay on Task
  • Not easily ruffled
  • Competent
  • Have personal Integrity, Spiritual values and the desire to make the world a better and more beautiful place
  • Compassionate
  • Caring
  • Intelligent
  • Athletic
  • Creative and able to think outside the box.
  • Yogini
  • Heart-Centered
  • Body worker
  • Environmentally conscious
  • Excellent communication skills

If we ran an ad looking for the right person it might read something like this:

Divorced, awesome father of two incredible children, a fabulous son-13, and magical daughter -10, seeks a man or woman Friday to assist in managing nearly every aspect of his busy and juicy life.

Applicant must be great with children and enjoy people, animals and the outdoors. Knowledge of skiing/boarding, white water rafting, yoga and body work a huge plus! Person should be Conscious, Heart-Centered and seeking to grow personally, have positive vibrations, have excellent communication and organizational skills, be very attentive to detail, take great pride in their work and work environment. Person should be prepared and capable of wearing all hats and have the capacity to shift from one hat to the other with grace and ease. Just some of the hats you'll be wearing are; Butler, chauffeur, bookkeeper, dog sitter, gardener, and organic/vegetarian/macro super chef, knowledgeable and safe tour/ski/water/guide, housekeeper, travel agent and baby sitter.

This position is not for the faint of heart or persons with strong conservative political or religious beliefs and applicant should be coming to the table with an open heart, open mind and the desire to be in a peaceful, loving, and beautiful work environment. We are seeking a long-term employee that will also be a part of our unique and loving family who is as dedicated to our peace, happiness and well being as we are to theirs. Willingness to travel and scheduling flexibility is a must as well as the desire to please. Background check and drug test will be mandatory. Must have own car in good condition for running errands and other task.

"The things I like about my boss and his family are that he's understanding and open to my thoughts. He's laid back and always available for questions and concerns. This family is definitely into having fun at work and my boss wants to keep his employees happy. The kids are awesome and can take up part of my day. They often come home from school yelling my name as they run up the stairs and greet me with a hug! They often invite me to after school events, which have really made me feel like part of the family. The kids are always the first one's to tell me 'this tastes awesome' when I cook a meal. Leaving the kids will definitely be the hardest part of passing this job onto you. The next person that has this position must be in the 'yes' business and be prepared for a fun and exciting job. No day is ever the same as the last at this residence :) Always expect the unexpected! Give 100%, work hard and be eager to please. Anything could be asked of you, so keep positive and be prepared to do almost anything at the drop of a hat!"
....Current PA leaving to start her own family

This job consists of but not limited to everything under the sun. Here are some of them :)

  • Sprouting and juicing wheatgrass and fresh fruit daily
  • Cooking and serving private dinner parties and holiday celebrations
  • Retrieving mail
  • Paying bills
  • Light housekeeping
  • Laundry
  • Family care
  • Dog care and sitting when family is away
  • Driving friends and kids
  • Traveling to fun places at the last minute with the family
  • Manage landscapers, housekeepers, hire contractors as needed for repairs
  • Maintaining boats, bikes, cars, trucks, motorcycles, kayaks, sports gear, etc.
  • Setting grooming appointments for pets
  • Light gardening
  • Flower arranging
  • Making travel arrangements
  • Concierge to guests that frequent the home when family is out of town
  • Maintaining the peaceful, loving, spiritual environment of the home

Your typical day at our house:

    Start at 9am

  • Quietly finding things to do when people are sleeping
  • Load the dishwasher
  • Take out the trash
  • Feed the dogs
  • Water the flowerbeds or shovel snow in the winter
  • Prepare fresh juices and something for breakfast
  • Co-ordinate day with boss and see what is on his agenda for the day
  • Make beds
  • Check children's, guest, media and entertainment rooms and areas
  • Collect laundry
  • Light cleaning where required.

    Mid day

  • Head to town and run errands.
  • Get mail
  • Banking
  • Pick up or drop off dry-cleaning
  • Grocery shopping and anything else required
  • Return and start the laundry and prepare food as needed.
  • Open mail and pay bills after consulting with accountant and bookeeper
  • After all this if the weather is nice, Bring dog for an hour walk on river

    Late afternoon

  • Pick up kids from school
  • Help w/ home work and making lunches (during the school year)
  • Be proactive and find things to do i.e.
  • Wash vehicles
  • Organize the garage, mud room, gear
  • Sweep doorways and walkways
  • Organize drawers an cupboards
  • Arrange flowers and beautify home

    At the very end of the day

  • Walk through the house and make sure everything is in order
  • Check-out w/ boss with a big smile before you leave

Interested? Apply here.

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AdFreak is a daily blog of the best and worst of creativity in advertising, media, marketing and design. Follow us as we celebrate (and skewer) the latest, greatest, quirkiest and freakiest commercials, promos, trailers, posters, billboards, logos and package designs around. Edited by Adweek's Tim Nudd.

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