E*Trade Baby Loses Life Savings as Market Goes South

Everything was going well for the E*Trade baby, until this latest stock market disaster, during which he apparently lost everything. No more shiny toys for the toddler. Distraught, he says he's going to throw himself off a building. It's either that or spend the rest of his childhood as a bitter milkaholic.

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Topics: E*trade, Finance, Grey, Parody

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