Boil down Hollywood plots to the essentials


Sometimes, if you take a step back and look at a movie's plot in the cold light of day, it just doesn't quite tell the story it was intended to tell. And I've never seen a more comprehensive list of these unintentional interpretations than at the PostmodernBarney blog, where they've compiled dozens of "uncomfortable plot summaries." Many are vulgar and probably not safe to read out loud at work, but here are a few PG favorites:
  • Star Wars: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
  • Superman Returns: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
  • Aliens: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • Terminator: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • The Matrix: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
  • Twilight: Girl gives up college for stalker.
  Via @dabitch.

—Posted by David Griner

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