Real-Life Barbie Doll Wants to Become Living Blonde Stereotype

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By Shawn Paul Wood Comment

blondie-bennett-human-barbie

Please send your hate mail to this bimbo … if she can read it.

Meet Blondie Bennett.

Certainly, that’s her legal name, or at least one that she can spell without phoning a friend. This 38-year-old nimrod has one idol that challenges her to reach for goals, climb to new heights, and become a better person. That idol is Barbie.

Yes, as in the plastic doll that recently posed on the cover of Sports Illustrated and known for having an unrealistic body. So, other than the alterations that you can see has already taken place, she plans on doing this — Blondie Bennett wants to become “totally brainless through the practice of hypnotherapy.”

According to the Inquistr, Blondie is from California and “has sessions three to four times a week so she can ‘think’ like a human Barbie.”

This requires her to focus on things that make her happy, like money, shopping, and her look. Bennett told the Daily Mail, “She has the best life. All she does is shop and make herself look pretty — she doesn’t worry about anything.”

Well, nothing except her regimen of spray tans, botulism injections and random silicone infills. That, and tending to her oh, so natural 32JJ thingamajigs.

‘I’ve had 20 sessions and I’m already starting to feel ditsy and confused all the time. Recently, I went to pick up a friend at the airport and couldn’t remember if I needed to go to departures or arrivals … I want people to see me as a plastic sex doll – and being brainless is a big part of that.’

You can imagine her goal is not to become a member of Congress or anything. My guess is something more, shall we say, “adult oriented.” And while she continues to put our her easy-porn-kickstarter campaigns funded by dirty old men and anonymous sugar daddies, Mattel is somewhere hoping little girls don’t catch wind of this trollop.

The Barbies my baby girl has would include pilot, police officer, veterinarian, astronaut, race car driver and even president. And this street walking Jezebel wants to be Barbie? I think I speak on behalf of all blondes when I say this woman could never achieve Barbie’s status.

She’s more like Skipper. What a slut.