Winona Ryder in August Vogue

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The August Vogue features one of the loopiest celebrity profiles in years. Winona Ryder, looking heartbreakingly beautiful is encouraged to talk about her shoplifting episode–while shopping for vintage clothing. All that community service really paid off. Ryder is blissfully guilt- and thought-free–it’s not like she rear-ended anyone.

Idle thought: did her mother do psychocybins when she was expecting Winona? Look at that 1,000 mile stare.