If Americans Ran the Olympics [Storify]

At least a few American TV viewers appear to have taken a break from bashing NBC's coverage of the 2012 Olympics. For the last few hours, they've been working on a curating an American version of the international sporting competition. Pulled from the hashtag #AmericanOlympicGames and organized on Spotify, here are the main events.

At least a few American TV viewers appear to have taken a break from bashing NBC’s coverage of the 2012 Olympics. For the last few hours, they’ve been curating an American version of the international sporting competition on Twitter under the hashtag #AmericanOlympicGames.

Every four years, this dystopian version of the Olympic games would appear at a different WalMart location. The five rings that once represented the five parts of the world in the logo will now represent the five parts of the American diet: “a Funyun, an onion ring, a donut, a samoa and a Froot Loop,” writes Jenna Bromberg of Kansas City, MO.

Judging by the events that the hashtag has inspired, Americans are full of self-loathing today. But a few of the proposed sports are activities that already make for compelling television, like legal battles and competitive eating.  Say what you want about our country, but Americans know a lot about what sells on TV.

Others have proposed we take the entire event online, giving points for Yelp reviews, as well as food and self photography. The tryouts for those events would be just as competitive as the real ones, and in some cases, the training would be even more dangerous.

(See a complete list of rules here.) Pulled from Twitter and organized on Spotify, here are the main events:

Image by Peter zijlstra via Shutterstock.