Want to know where to go to blow $900 on two bottles of $14 vodka? Jonesing for an impromptu lap dance from an underage girl with a fake ID? Frustrated in your previous attempts to stalk Paris Hilton?
Well, have no fear: LA.com offers you the Nightlife Guide to LA’s Nightlife Royalty.
Just reading this list is exhausting, but there is one bit of inadvertent humor:
When this Brit moved to LA in 1990, he was crushed to see Hollywood was a wasteland of boarded-up shops and wandering drug addicts
Most Brits I know would have been utterly enchanted and delighted to see said wandering addicts (a bit of home!), and would have rushed to join them.