Epizootics Revealed! Will Tom Cruise Convert?

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Back when Tom Cruise was in diapers, Paul Krassner, editor of The Realist was already wise to the tricks of a certain Sci-Fi writer turned cult leader. Epizootics, a spoof of Dianetics, was written by Gershon Legman, and first published in Neurotica in 1950. The gist:

Axiom 1.–the fundamental rule of life is–MAKE DOUGH

Read, as the man says, the whole thing.