Dear Santa, Please Bring Me Better Facebook Features
Dear Santa, My name is Heather. You don’t know me. I’m Jewish, so growing up I once spent the entire year trying to guilt my parents into buying me a $100 American Girl Doll, instead of just penning you a simple request. I was eventually successful, but I remember feeling that corresponding with you would have been much easier. I hold onto that childhood memory as I write to you today.
My name is Heather. You don’t know me. I’m Jewish, so growing up I once spent the entire year trying to guilt my parents into buying me a $100 American Girl Doll, instead of just penning you a simple request. I was eventually successful, but I remember feeling that corresponding with you would have been much easier. I hold onto that childhood memory as I write to you today.
Santa, I can call you that, right? Santa, you know how much I love Facebook (I assume you know the wants and desires of all the 20-something children on Earth), but I strongly feel like it could be better. For Christmas this year, if you could just bring me a better experience as a user, community manager, and advertiser, I would forever be grateful. I have taken the liberty of making you a list of Facebook features I would like to see on my laptop when I awake Dec. 25 (I’m sorry, I don’t have a tree. Just look for a 13-inch MacBook.)
I want:
- A Facebook ads interface that isn’t constantly changing.
- A power editor that works in Firefox and not just Chrome.
- An easier way to get into contact with Facebook support for non-paid account issues.
- A more intuitive paid reporting interface.
- The option to jump off a comment thread. I am currently afraid to wish congratulations on baby announcements for fear of subsequent deluge of messages from strangers.
- A news feed that would stop switching back to top stories even though I always change it to most recent. Santa, no one wants old news, no matter how good it is.
- An effective FarmVille (or any game really) invitation prevention app.
- A way to tell retargeted ads, “I already bought those damn shoes, so stop trying to get me to that point of purchase.”
- A revival of that short-lived feature that allowed users to print and order photos directly from Facebook through Snapfish.
- The ability to like your own brand page as yourself, and not the page, while remaining an admin.
- More control over my news feed content and viewing experience.
- For Facebook and Google to have a better relationship. It would be awful nice if Facebook items were integrated into Google’s search result position tool.
- More granular filters that allow me to hide any posts that include politics, that girl who has it all, religion, engagements, ex-boyfriends, or Kickstarter pleas.
Santa, I know we don’t have a relationship like you have with most other boys and girls. I get it, but maybe we could work something out this year. I’m sure you have a few elves who dabble in Web development during the off-season. I don’t expect all of these wishes to be granted, but I do appreciate your efforts. Also, if you want to leave an iPad or new MacBook Pro for me to view these new features in a higher resolution, I wouldn’t be upset.
Sincerely,
Heather Sundell
P.S. Did I do this Santa letter right? And did my friend Sarah Gottleib do this letter right, too?
P.P.S. I forgot to mention that I was, like, way good this year. I not only adopted timeline with ease, but I was a vocal advocate to the naysayers. That’s gotta count for something.
Heather Sundell is the marketing manager for The Search Agency.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
