Starburst continues its “Contradictions” campaign, playing up the solid yet juicy nature of the candy, with this new spot featuring a very slow getaway-car driver inching through traffic after a bank heist. “I can’t seem to shake ’em,” the guy says, as a cop on foot keeps pace beside the vehicle. It’s a cute ad, but not as outrageous, memorable or worthy of repeat viewings as previous entries (which featured Scottish Koreans and the living dead). Actually, that cop’s moving at a fairly brisk pace compared to the dough-guts in my neighborhood, who generally snooze behind the wheels of their cruisers in no-parking zones. Kidding, of course. The boys in blue can really move, especially when they’re behind on their weekly ticket quotas. By the way, how did the hood in the backseat pop a Sweet Fiesta Starburst into his mouth with a stocking over his face? Talk about a contradiction. I mean, with fishnets, maybe—but with that sheer number he’s sporting, no way!