In macho baseball parlance, a “slump buster” refers to an unattractive woman with whom a struggling slugger has sex in an attempt to break out of a slump. That goes a long way toward explaining why the pros are always adjusting themselves at the plate. In his autobiography, Jose “Squealer” Canseco said he’d rather go 0-for-40 than seek out a slump buster. He preferred steroids, and hasn’t shut up about it since. Slump Buster is also the name of a new energy drink endorsed by Boston Red Sox first-baseman Kevin Youkilis, who doesn’t go into slumps that often. I guess the name will be controversial, which was probably why they chose it. The Red Sox are world champs, so you’d think Youk could get a classier ad gig, like shilling (or is it Schilling?) for Dunkin’ Donuts. (It was, in fact, Schilling.) Still, Youk’s assignment isn’t really any more downmarket than David Ortiz’s efforts for D’Angelo’s sandwich shops. Most guys would take Slump Buster over that cheese-steak stalker any day.
—Posted by David Gianatasio