Just last night I said to the wife, "You know what I'd really like? Some of Michael Jackson's hair. In fact, I want the toasted tresses from the 1984 Pepsi commercial where the fireworks erupted too early and set his head ablaze." The missus shot me that "You're a crazy jackass" look I've come to know so well. Well, it turns out you can buy those very locks! A site claiming to be offering bits of the late King of Pop's charred mane assures us it's genuine: "The provenance and authenticity of this lock of hair is impeccable, including the highly publicized video of the original owner of the hair (the commercial's executive producer) using his Armani jacket to extinguish Jackson's hair." Armani jacket … sounds above suspicion to me. What did the guy do, yank out singed strands while the Thriller smoldered on the floor in agony? Reading on, we learn that the hair is "presented on a display card for perfect framing." Classy. I wouldn't want it any other way. This could be a great investment. According to news-antique.com, a single strand of Elvis's hair sold for $1,750 at auction. That makes Michael's 1/16th-inch strands an absolute steal at $240 apiece. They'll go great with that Michael Jackson crystallized-hair jewelry I bought a few years back. When it comes to MJ collectibles, I'm really making headway!