Well, no one ascended to heaven this weekend, and no one ever will if we keep putting up contraband on eBay as a goof. This time, an Allendale, Mich., woman jokingly put the 2-year-old she was babysitting up for sale. And when a bidder's $1,000 offer was accepted, police were called. This has happened before. Naturally, the woman who posted this listing was contrite. "You are all taking it way too seriously and blowing it way out of proportion," she said. "I was just trying to see how this 'reserve met' thing works and . . . I thought, well, wouldn't it be funny, seeing as I have all these pictures of her on my computer, to put her on there." Here's a tip, lady: When in doubt, the police err on the side of not thinking you're funny. Besides, if I recall my Simpsons trivia, selling children is legal only in Springfield and Mississippi.