Microsoft takes a break from perfecting its blue screen of death to ape Google's ad style—abundant white space, bouncing Chrome ball, Beethoven's Fifth on the soundtrack—in this anti-Google video that was reportedly intended for internal use but was conveniently leaked to the universe just in time for Google's big I/O developers conference. Tagged with the same "Don't get Scroogled" line that Microsoft uses whenever it needles the only digital company more reviled than itself, the spot warns, "With Google Chrome, everything everywhere is tracked. To target you with ads. To monetize your personal info. … Google watches everything you do and uses it to make a profit off of you. Chrome has you commercialized." Cool. Google can trash my privacy and pick my pocket as long as there's some value added. ("Commercialized" is a good thing, right? I can always Google it and find out. See—value added!) What's Microsoft done for anyone lately? Since they took away the Windows start button, I just stare at a blank PC screen and write all my stories on a Mac. Though Google did give the world Glassholes, so I guess they're just as bad.
The original Google Chrome spot: