Jack of all trades, particularly violent ones

Jackbauer There’s so much news this week about violence on TV, I decided to interview an expert, 24’s Jack Bauer, to get his perspective on the subject.
  Q: What do you say to those who believe there’s a “causal link” between TV violence and violent behavior in kids?
  Jack: I’m federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.
  Q: But how do you respond to the senators who insist we need to clean up the airwaves?
  Jack: I know you think what you’re doing is right. But it is my job not to let that happen. I swear to God I will hurt you before I kill you, and no one will be able to stop me.
  Q: They claim there’s a good reason broadcasters should exercise more restraint.
  Jack: The only reason that you’re conscious right now is because I don’t want to carry you.
  Q: Bottom line: When it comes to the government curbing TV violence …
  Jack: This is NOT going to happen.
  Q: Allowing the marketplace to police itself is what a free society is all about. Thank you, Jack Bauer.
  Jack (draws gun): See you in hell.
  *All Jack Bauer dialogue from Fox’s 24.

—Posted by David Gianatasio