Halls gives you paranormal elevator powers

In case you were unaware, Halls now gives you the power to unleash massive blasts of telekinetic force. My favorite part of this commercial is that the guy doesn't even have a cough; he just doesn't like crowded elevators. It's possible that the cough-suppressant market is overrun and Halls is seeking a new place as the psionic supplement of choice. Or perhaps I'm wrong and he's just taking the cough drop to fool his elevator-mates into thinking he's sick, and they're squishing themselves against the walls to get away from him. But then, how do you explain the white waves of Halls power that radiate from him, or the unmistakable high-pitched squeal of a telekinetic power-up? Last year, Halls showed us that sushi chefs know exactly what to serve when a cougher sits down at the bar. At least I got the point: Halls works in 10 seconds. That's fast. Now, Halls is "a deep breath of fresh air," like it's a piece of gum or something. Problem is, Halls tastes like a block of cough syrup with a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down. If I'm supposed to pop those nasties like candy, at least give me actual paranormal powers for my trouble.

—Posted by Rebecca Cullers