One of Hollywood's biggest hams, William Shatner, talks turkey in State Farm's primer for Thanksgiving deep-frying safety. Behold nearly four minutes of an unholy trinity—Shatner, frozen turkeys and hot oil. Watch Shats emote like a madman as he's engulfed in cheesy CGI flames. Marvel at his whispered, salacious delivery of "dingle-dangle" as he describes the inner workings of a deep fryer. Stare incessantly at yet another unconvincing toupee that barely clings to his campy, iconic scalp. This is epic stuff, people! Remember that classic Star Trek episode where Charlie X turns the synthetic meatloaf in the Enterprise's galley into Thanksgiving turkey? Bill had a better rug back then. As of this writing, the "Eat, Fry, Love" clip has 131 likes on YouTube, and one dislike. I wonder who in the known universe would dare to dis such inspired, well-intentioned silliness. Then it hit me. … Khaaaaaaaan!