Flowers Say It Better in FTD Ads That Could Have Said It Better

Guys, don't be like this

Judging from FTD's Valentine's Day ads, maybe love does mean having to say you're sorry after all.

Four 60-second spots by Epsilon Chicago, designed to illustrate that "FTD says it best" for next week's holiday, put couples on a shiny red sofa that's more hot seat than love seat. They bicker about how the guys botched V-Day last year by giving the gals inappropriate gifts (or none at all), when a bouquet or basket from FTD would've worked wonders.

In the best of the bunch, feathers fly. "I got her a parrot," brags our would-be Romeo. "He got me a freaking parrot," his lady-love moans. The guy says, "Oh my gosh, it is so cool … it's majestic … it's regal." She replies, "It's dirty … it stinks … it bites."

These ads don't bite—they're amusing and well acted—but they do feel dated. The rhythm and style recall late-'90s/early-'00s sitcoms, with bird-brained guys and whiny women over-obsessing about their relationship woes. And why do we get youngish white hetero couples each time?

Surely, in 2014, Cupid's raised his aim.