Dear God, the madness never ends. A woman named Michelle L. Dobrawsky is asking Trey Parker and Matt Stone to take a break from picking on Mormons and Scientologists and other low-hanging fruit and allow their South Park character Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo, to become the, ahem, "spokesturd" for rectal cancer. Michelle is herself suffering from rectal cancer, and wants to help the condition's PR problem by giving it a friendly face. She's had a lot of time to consider this. In her own words, the goal of her cancer treatment is "to generate, painlessly, productively and naturally, a perfect Mr. Hankey." Michelle's plea is both heartfelt and logical. So, Matt and Trey, stop being libertarians for a few hours and actually help this woman. Via BuzzFeed. UPDATE: Michelle died on Aug. 29, 2012. It would honor her memory if this Mr. Hanky idea actually happened.