Archeologists unearth early metrosexual

Beckhams_5Look out, Ms. Salzman. Maybe the metrosexual trend isn’t so new after all. Reuters reports that a prehistoric man discovered in a Irish peat bog used hair gel that an archeologist concludes was a resin substance imported from France. It’s unclear if the man was an ancestor of either David Beckham or Richard Kirshenbaum. In any case, even for his day (roughly 2,300 years ago) the man was fairly short, at 5-foot-2. It’s believed he used the gel in an attempt to make himself look taller. Curiously, the man was found buried close to another man who was 6-foot-6 and is believed to be the tallest Iron Age body ever discovered. But apparently some folks were riled by the metrosexual movement even back then—Gel Man’s life came to an unhappy end when someone split his head open with an axe before disembowling him. The 6-footer was also murdered, hopefully not merely for fraternizing with his pint-size, fashion-conscious buddy. Lucky for us we live in a far more tolerant and civilized world today. Never mind what you read in the papers.

—Posted by Steve McClellan

Photo: David Wimsett/UPPA/Zuma/Newscom