Some advice for Ken upon his coming makeover
Pity sad, divorced Ken. After more than a year spent eating cold pizza and staring at the beige walls of his transitional singles housing unit, he’s desperate to be back in Barbie’s arms, dream house and pink Corvette. So, he's getting a makeover. (Yes, we’ve always felt he was a bit of a user—with the exception of a brief stint as a soldier in the 60’s and a short-lived medical career in the '90s, Ken seems to have spent most of his time skiing, surfing and playing tennis.) Still, you have to feel badly for a guy that spent 43 years bending to his plasticine princess’ every whim; in the '70s it was a neckerchief, in the '80s an earring. Now, Mattel is hinting that this makeover is just the thing to charm the impossibly-proportioned dream girl. Personal stylists offered some suggestions on CNN.com, including a better tan and more defined physique. (Although, AdFreak has a feeling the one part of his physique which could bring Barbie back is probably not on Mattel’s list of edits.) For those not in the loop, Barbie threw Ken over for surfer stud Blaine when Ken took a turn toward the metrosexual early this century. In fact, based on Ken’s most recent look—premium conditioned hair, mesh tanktop—we were sure the pair had finally ended it for reasons of, shall we say, sexual compatibility. And while Marian Salzman et. al. have jilted the metrosexual for a studlier über-man, we caution Ken before he develops expensive fetishes for Portuguese reds and Mitchell Gold furniture. Is it really worth it? At the rate marketers are churning through paradigms, it won't be long before the male ideal is downgraded to undersexual. So why not wait it out in your cargo shorts and unbranded t-shirt? You’ll save some cash and be ahead of the curve when Kevin Federline-inspired five o’clock shadows and beer breath come into fashion.
—Posted by Deanna Zammit
Credit: PR Newswire/Newscom
- FTC May Not Be Done With Google Yet
- IPG Shareholders Reject 2 Proposals, Including Gender and Race Reporting
- Are You Young and Male? Discovery Says This TestTube's for You
- Arrested Development Outbuzzing House of Cards
- Top Digital Publishers Praise Yahoo's Tumblr Deal
- How J.Lo Is Becoming A Wireless Brand
- Arnold Wins Avocados From Mexico
- BBC's Experimental 'Perceptive Radio' Will Personalize Content
- Having Shipped Its Pants, Kmart Now Offers You 'Big Gas Savings'
- And the 2013 Grand Effie Goes to ...
- Twitter's TV Ad Targeting Uses 'Video Fingerprinting'
- The 10 Best Commercials of 2012
- Group of Web Video Companies Band Together to Ensure Ads Are Viewable
- How KitchenAid Gave Us the World’s Coolest Mixer
- Geico Makes the Perfect Ad for Hump Day
- Lego Builds Awesome Life-Size Star Wars X-Wing Fighter, Its Largest Model Ever
AdFreak is your daily blog of the best and worst of creativity in advertising, media, marketing and design. Follow us as we celebrate (and skewer) the latest, greatest, quirkiest and freakiest commercials, promos, trailers, posters, billboards, logos and package designs around. Edited by Adweek's Tim Nudd. Updated every weekday, with a weekly recap on Saturdays.