Paul Garnier

OK, look, if any cannibals out there are reading this, you guys need to stop with the personal ads. They never go where you want them to. The latest example of this comes from Slovakia, where a would-be cannibal posted an advertisement online seeking someone to eat. Sounds pretty straightforward to me, but the schmuck who answered the ad didn't take it seriously until he spoke to the guy on the phone, at which point he went to the police. They organized a sting operation that ended in an arrest, but not before the cannibal and a police officer were both injured in a gunfight. A police spokesman said: "It appears this man was genuinely seeking to eat someone. His advert said he wanted someone who would agree to be put to sleep then killed, cut up, cooked, and eaten." Which brings to mind another general rule of thumb: Don't ironically answer a cannibal's personal ad. He's probably not kidding around.