Hi. I’m Batman.
— Ben Affleck Batman (@AffleckBatman) August 23, 2013
Yes he is. And before you ask: sorry, but you are not the only person who immediately tweeted “And Matt Damon will be Robin, right?” We’ll also remind you not to bother contacting the White House; they already blocked the “make it illegal for Ben Affleck to play Batman (or any other superhero) on film for the next 200 years” petition.
Pitch for a rewrite of Batman/Superman: Superman pushes Earth backwards in its orbit to reverse time & prevent Ben Affleck from being Batman
— Spencer Ackerman (@attackerman) August 23, 2013
It gets better:
I’ve just seen Christian Bale going to Affleck’s apartment with some Huey Lewis records and an axe.
— THE STUDIO EXEC (@studioexec1) August 23, 2013
— Don Willett (@JusticeWillett) August 23, 2013
As a dad, I have to go to all the big superhero movies. Ben Affleck’s casting has actually made me love my children less.
— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) August 23, 2013
Comic book nerds may be swarming Variety‘s poll today, but so far only 20-something percent of more than 90,000 voters think Ben was the best choice to play The Dark Knight.
People freak out about the strangest things, don’t they? We never saw Gigli or Daredevil or that other thing with J.Lo, but Argo was a pretty good movie! Oh, and remember Michael Keaton? Can you imagine what Twitter would have to say about Mr. Mom playing the Caped Crusader?
At the same time, Warner Brothers had to know that they’d get a whole lot of publicity by making such an earth-shattering announcement on a very slow news day. Did they really not see this epic freakout coming? If there’s one thing we’ve learned from politics, it’s that you always release bad news at 4 PM on Friday. Anyway, here’s some advice from a certain butler:
Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They’ll hate you for it, but that’s the point of Batman…
He forgot to add “…and hope against hope that it doesn’t cut into domestic ticket sales, cause this movie is going to cost a fortune.” Here’s how Warner could have avoided all the bad publicity: by casting someone else.