New York Times columnist Virginia Heffernan, by some chattering class estimates the best media writer at the paper, has a brain many brainy men have fallen in love with—sometimes to their peril. One of those men is socialite and investment banker Euan Rellie.
As Rellie tells it, he met Heffernan in the early ’90s in New York City, amid a cast of “young, upper-middle class, fairly academic, Harvard, Georgetown, media, literary types.” Both were in their 20s; Rellie was fresh from Britain; Heffernan had just earned a master’s from Harvard and was working as a fact-checker for The New Yorker while she took a year off before going back for her Ph.D.
“Virginia was perceived as being smart and bookish and quirky ambitious,” Rellie says. “I immediately had this crush on her and started to seek her out at cocktail parties.”
At one such party, the two got to talking: “She said, ‘Why don’t you come back to my apartment in Brooklyn, and you can look at the skyline of New York, and I can give you a drink.’”
They caught a cab. Once they were back at her apartment, as Rellie tells it, “She said, ‘Fix yourself a drink; I’m going to get into something more comfortable.’ Just like that. She left me with a decanter of scotch and reappeared wearing a see-through baby-doll thing with furry balls. It was amazing.”
Things progressed, then took a turn.
“She stops me and she says, ‘Before we go any further, I need to know something. I need to know if King Lear is a comedy or a tragedy.’”
Rellie protested: “‘You’re kidding.’”
“‘No, really, I need to know.’”
He paused, then ventured: “‘It’s obviously a tragicomedy.’”
“‘I’m going to need you to leave,’” Heffernan said, as Rellie recalls. “‘Please leave now. It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. You’re going to have to leave.’ I pulled my trousers up and walked out into the street.
“Many years later she came to my 35th birthday and gave me a present,” Rellie says. “I took it home and opened it. It was a paperback copy of King Lear. On the inside she had written, ‘Dear Euan, Happy Birthday. This is so you can find out the story for yourself.’
“I told the story to her husband,” Rellie says. “He said, ‘Oh, I completely believe it.’”
(Asked about Rellie’s story, Heffernan says, “By now, I pretty much only remember his version because I’ve heard it so many times.”)