Tucker Carlson’s Breakfast of Champions

By Greg Comment


In light of last week’s New Yorker story on media macher Tab fanatics like Steve Brill (who always had two cases of the puke-pink cans in the kitchen at all times during my brief period in his employ) I asked Fishtern Jamie Frevele to investigate the wider cults of Diet Coke and other fine soft drinks lurking in Mediaville. (Personally, I drink two liters of Diet Coke and another two of diet ginger ale literally every day.) The response rate was a bit… disappointing, so if you’d like to share the name and consumption rate of your own personal caffeinated crutch, please use the tip box over to the right to send us a note, and I’ll append them to the bottom of the post, assuming there are other people in this city proud of their blood aspartame levels. Here’s Jamie’s report:

So, as my first assignment under our new FishbowlNY editor Greg, I was commissioned to ask several NYC media personalities if they partook in the newly re-emerging diet soda trend. (If you do indeed believe it is a trend. I think people just still think it helps you lose weight.) [Ed: Some of us need it just to live.]

Well, despite my appeals, I got four responses, two of which had actual answers. Apparently, some guy got a new legal job in Washington and there was some sort of speech given, so NYC newsers may have been a bit busier than usual. Two gentlemen were kind enough, however, to give little old me a response, and they can both be found at MSNBC.com so make sure you go check them out. Because they were nice to me. [Ed: Why am I not surprised that only people associated with MSNBC had enough time on their hands to answer?]

Jonathan Alter, Newsweek: “I used to drink a couple of Diet Cokes a day, but gave them up after I got sick and decided to stop putting so many chemicals in my body.”

Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s “The Situation with Tucker Carlson:” I’m a Fresca man. I try to drink at least two a day. It’s got a refreshingly crisp grapefruit
flavor. I also love Stewart’s Diet Root Beer. I have one every morning for breakfast.”

(*I’m a political science major. Trust me. I’m not downplaying those
events. No, really.)

So tell us: what do you drink to get you through the day?

Update: Judy McGuire has sent us a link which freaks us out. Maybe it’s time to cut back, kids.