Tucker Carlson’s Breakfast of Champions

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By Greg Comment

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In light of last week’s New Yorker story on media macher Tab fanatics like Steve Brill (who always had two cases of the puke-pink cans in the kitchen at all times during my brief period in his employ) I asked Fishtern Jamie Frevele to investigate the wider cults of Diet Coke and other fine soft drinks lurking in Mediaville. (Personally, I drink two liters of Diet Coke and another two of diet ginger ale literally every day.) The response rate was a bit… disappointing, so if you’d like to share the name and consumption rate of your own personal caffeinated crutch, please use the tip box over to the right to send us a note, and I’ll append them to the bottom of the post, assuming there are other people in this city proud of their blood aspartame levels. Here’s Jamie’s report:

So, as my first assignment under our new FishbowlNY editor Greg, I was commissioned to ask several NYC media personalities if they partook in the newly re-emerging diet soda trend. (If you do indeed believe it is a trend. I think people just still think it helps you lose weight.) [Ed: Some of us need it just to live.]

Well, despite my appeals, I got four responses, two of which had actual answers. Apparently, some guy got a new legal job in Washington and there was some sort of speech given, so NYC newsers may have been a bit busier than usual. Two gentlemen were kind enough, however, to give little old me a response, and they can both be found at MSNBC.com so make sure you go check them out. Because they were nice to me. [Ed: Why am I not surprised that only people associated with MSNBC had enough time on their hands to answer?]

Jonathan Alter, Newsweek: “I used to drink a couple of Diet Cokes a day, but gave them up after I got sick and decided to stop putting so many chemicals in my body.”

Tucker Carlson, MSNBC’s “The Situation with Tucker Carlson:” I’m a Fresca man. I try to drink at least two a day. It’s got a refreshingly crisp grapefruit
flavor. I also love Stewart’s Diet Root Beer. I have one every morning for breakfast.”

(*I’m a political science major. Trust me. I’m not downplaying those
events. No, really.)

So tell us: what do you drink to get you through the day?

Update: Judy McGuire has sent us a link which freaks us out. Maybe it’s time to cut back, kids.

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