People Names Gwyneth Paltrow ‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman’

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By Chris O'Shea

People has named Gwyneth Paltrow the world’s most beautiful woman. Paltrow, upon hearing the meaningless news, said, “I can’t believe it. I kept thinking, ‘This can’t be true.’ I’ve never been more surprised or flattered.”

To celebrate the honor, Paltrow will hand-pick several Indonesian children to knit a life size replica of her face that will soon be available for purchase via Goop, for $47,500.